A few have wondered if it would be possible to send the boys to different schools. Logistically it just wouldn't work. Riverside and Tusarova are in opposite directions from our door, and their start times would have us either early at one or late at the other. More to the point, though, is this: Garrett would not want to be at Tusarova without Ben. Garrett's display on Tuesday morning showed his anxiety in the moment about changing schools, but we knew it wouldn't last once he checked out Riverside. As I mentioned in a comment, Garrett may be losing something in this equation, but he's gaining a lot, too.
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When last we left our heroes, Beaming Ben and Growling Garrett were en route to Riverside for their Look-See morning visit. Arriving in the school courtyard, we took in the scene: backpacks ditched at the side of the school, kids running around, throwing snowballs, laughing and yelling in English. Ben turned to me, eyes shining, and with quiet earnestness said, "I'm ready." No kidding, he was beaming. Ben let the principal, Mr. Chisholm, walk him to his classroom to settle in while I dealt with a fretful Garrett.
Garrett did his best to deflect any friendly overtures from the teacher, Mrs. Perie, and other students, but his resolve melted quickly as he was seduced into conversations in which he could function better than a toddler.
I was able to extract myself just after 10 o'clock (my Czech class started at 9:30, I got there at 11). When Karl came to pick up at noon, Garrett loped across the playground to him, exclaiming, "I made a friend!"
The battle, however, wasn't quite over. On the bus ride home, Garrett said Riverside was fine, but he wasn't going to go there right away.
We wanted to face this head on, but it's not always clear what the best approach is with G. Later that afternoon I chatted with him while he had snack. I had a little speech prepared.
Parents have to make choices about what they think is the best option for their children in a tough situation. We'd hoped Tusarova would work out well for everyone. While you made friends and had fun there, your need to learn how to read and write wasn't being met ...I was planning to play the reading/writing card because G specifically mentioned to me within the previous week, "we've got to get me reading." Also, I didn't want Garrett to blame Ben for G needing to leave his friends.
I got to the part about Tusarova being good in some ways when Garrett interrupted me.
"Actually, I like Riverside better."
Phew.
So that's it. They started Wednesday. Both teachers reported the boys had a fabulous first day. Ms. Logan, Ben's teacher, said at one point she saw Ben and three other boys from class laughing and walking arm-in-arm down the hall. And Garrett happily has been taken under the wing of Allison, one of his classmates. By Friday it seemed they'd been there all year.
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We're delighted that the boys are as happy as they are at Riverside, and grateful we had the option to send them there. But it's not without some sadness. There is an opportunity lost in this. If we didn't acknowledge that, the picture would not be complete. We thought it was important enough to try a local school despite the difficulties. Just because something is hard, we told the boys, doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Had we known of the specific problems sooner and addressed them effectively, that, too, could have provided an important lesson about persevering through challenges.
And Ben and Garrett did hang in there, even when it was really hard. I hope they have gained a sense of their resilience and ability to adapt. Their mom and dad certainly see it in them. And we could not be more proud of them.
Boys, you rock.
You guys, all four of you, are just flat-out amazing. This was a treat to read.
ReplyDeleteFabulous! So happy for you :-)
ReplyDelete@ Kelley & Morna ~ thank you!
ReplyDelete... and Kelley, given your rigid No Hyperbole Coda, that's quite a compliment! I'm engraving your comment in my resume. :)
"But it's not without some sadness. There is an opportunity lost in this. If we didn't acknowledge that, the picture would not be complete. "
ReplyDeleteI've always described expat life as a mixed bag. Not an "it's what you make of it" but rather a wonder and damned hard.
One of the most challenging parts of expat parenting is knowing when your kids don't need more 3rd Culture Kid experiences to add to their cv's, but when they need to feel a little more at home so very far from home. Accept that given the onslaught of such life changing happenings each and every day over this year, some things will stick and some won't.
This experience is changing all of you in far bigger ways than to what degree of Czech fluency they'll exhibit upon their return Stateside, or how many Czech friends they'll still be Skyping 2 years from now.
You're good parents. Sadness, yes but no regrets. They're brave boys. Look at it this way, they'll remember enough Czech to impress girls at parties.
(And of course I know this is about so much more than how much Czech they can speak. It's easy for me to put it all in perspective from my side of the pond, from the far side of the expat experience ...)
Hang tough. It'll be over before you know it, and the memories will be like looking at a photo album wondering if it was someone else's life. And at that point it will be, because you so won't be the same person anymore.